“Dating in the Time of Corona”
There is no right way to dating especially during a Global Pandemic, only your way. Here’s a little story about how I’m dating during Corona.
By Keresha Donaldson
October 11, 2020
As a single black woman in my thirties, my experiences and attitudes regarding being single and dating run the gambit on any given day. I go from feeling optimistic to just down rightfully over it! Let’s not get into when you add online dating into the repertoire, which only adds to my emotions and attitude.
But like so many other singles out there at the start of 2020, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to take my dating to another level. I was ready to date for real – and by real, I mean with the intentions of marriage. As a single 30 something woman at some point, that proverbial biological clock starts its imminent countdown. Starting to worry that our shop will soon be closed for business – and by business, I mean babies. Research has informed us, a woman is most fertile and capable of getting pregnant during her 20s, and as she gets older the ability to conceive gradually declines in the 30s, and significantly after the age 35. Yup, that’s right thirty freakin’ five!
Where is my precious…
Subsequently, I found myself 30 something and single – the anxiety starting to build up. Let’s not even get into the general FOMO – because that is enough to make a girl cry. When everyone in your social circle is either in a serious relationship, engaged, married, or married with children and you are not! You become the odd man out on date nights and the only one not invited to the mommy and me playdates – not cool. So, what do you do when there is something you want, you make a plan to go get it until a global pandemic throws a curveball, like Quarantine!
“What do you mean quarantine, how am I going to meet anyone? I am going to be single forever”, the thoughts running through my mind.
Thankfully, once quarantine restrictions started lifting, I got back to the mission at hand, dating seriously!
Here’s how it is going so far and what I have realized.
1. Quarantined! How am I ever going to find a date…. There’s an app for that!
Once I got over the disappointment and confusion that Covid-19 and being forced to quarantine for months, brought on I realized that there is still a way to make new human connections… DATING APPS. I may not be a huge cheerleader of dating apps, but I am no stranger to them, so why not now. In case anyone needs to hear this here are 5 dating apps around now:
- Hinge
- Tinder
- OkCupid
- Bumble
- Match.com
I choose to redownload (Hinge) after deleting it for the third time out of frustration. I decided this time I would approach the dating app world differently.
Photo by cyberdatingexpert.com
Personally, Hinge is the lesser of the dating app. There is no charge and a lot more informative in terms of profile detail requirements. Not that you can get to know someone by a few well thought out answers to question that are not yours. However, the textual generic insights do allow greater confidence when engaging in monotonous swiping. Ultimately, I lean towards Hinge because of its reputation for being not a “hook up” app unlike its competitor Tinder – which I have used in the past as well. Approaching with a renewed look on life and love I felt I was ready to give it a real college try.
I’ve been swiping, I’ve been swiping…
However, during my swiping adventures, morale was starting to decrease as it has in the past. With no prize in sight only a few conversations here and there; and decent chit chat. Reflecting on my experience I wish I would have been privy to PR Newswire annual singles in America survey. Unaware of the process PR Newswire selects candidates for their unprecedented, highly needed, and interesting research article on dating in 2020 but I sure wish they holla’d at a sista!
Cause listen Linda…as Cardi B would say “I need questions”. Here a few images of said research!
Okay, PR Newswire I receive those statics but raise you countless time suckers and THE MOST unimaginative salutations ever… “Heyyyyyy”. Because baby, I don’t know if these Real Talk: statics are indicative of my entire experience. But I digress, moving on to THE BEST GREETING OF ALL TIME: “Love waking up to a melanated cutie in my matches. Good morning Love”. Followed up with “Good morning sir 🥰! Pleasant surprises 😊how are you doing”? While it may not be love going down in the Hinge. I at least appreciated the well-thought-out, sweet, but not corny greeting. It put a much-needed smile on my face. Starting my “Dating in the Time of Corona” (a pun of Freeform’s Love in the Time of Corona mini-series for anyone who has not picked up on that).
2. Ain’t nothing like the real thang baby!
And by real thang I mean in-person human contact. But AHT AHT AHT… not so fast girlfriend. The in-person gratification would come at a later date, a whole 25 days later. To say the least, time was taken during the “texting phase”. I should admit I enjoyed the elongated texting entanglement; texting every day, sometimes all day. Followed by the first “virtual date”, –girls gotta’ make sure she is not being catfished ‘ya heard me. Luckily, the FaceTime meet-up matched the text vibe and tone, which was equally pleasant. This went on for “25 days” after that initial message. Then came the “The Real Thang Baby”
3. “The Real Thang Baby” … dating Covid
During those long 25 days, I got to know the person that would become the premise of this article. And it was nothing and exactly like what I expected it to be.
The most glaring thing that I had not previously thought of during online dating life is having to navigate dating during a Corona Virus Global Pandemic. I mean all the forethought, planning, and prep that would have to be considered and discussed, like come on give a girl a break! I’m talking about this going beyond the already annoying pre-Rona (Covid-19) nonsense that already comes with dating. For example, picking the perfect outfit… now through having mask coordination in there. Then trying to pick a location that is CDC guidelines approved, is enough to throw in the “whole towel”. Especially, when your calendars did not match up until 25 days later people, I repeat 25 days later. I don’t know if I am bugging but that’s a while, right? But I guess when contemplating meeting someone new, during an unprecedented global pandemic, it is okay if thoughts of “Getting Frisk or too Risky?” cross a girl mind.
4. Getting Frisky or too Risky?
Of my experiences, I cannot tell you how long you should wait, the right questions to ask, whether to pick an indoor or outdoor location before going on the first date. What I can tell you is my experience was unique to me. The one advice I can give is communicate, ask yo’ questions, do yo’ research, take yo’ precaution whatever that is. List of precaution can range from:
- Covid-Test or not to Covid-Test
- Bringing yo’self to CDC Covid-19 Website
- Having a Covid utility Survival Kit: Hand sanitizer, mask, tissues, gloves, and wipes
- AND WASHING YO’ HANDS!
As for me, I went on my first corona date. Which I enjoyed and live to tell you about. Great food, I would plug the location but this not a pay per click article. Luckily, once again, the date matched the text vibe. From everything like the ambience, food, music, waitress (shout out to queen on the Mezcal shots 😏), conversation, and night.
I would be remised if I didn’t admit I went through it those 25 days leading up to the date, Okurrr. Decisions where weighted, researched was done, questions were asked, thought and planning went down. Dating in anytime, in any way, and of any sex, your choices should be weighted and thoroughly considered people! AKA TAKE YO TIME!
Final thoughts before you…
My last piece of advice if you will, when single and dating at a certain age you cannot let fear and the unknown hold you back. You have to know who you are, what works for you, do yo’ research, and go for it!
Just Keresha 